Please Control Your Summoner, Alfonse
by TakeItAndRun
Summary: Kiran wants to summon Ike. She has some... strange methods of doing so.


_Author's Notes: GODDAMMIT IKE WHY CAN'T I SUMMON YOU._

 _Uh, I mean... welcome! Thanks for reading! Haha._

 _Also, I've never played Ike's games, so I have no idea if Soren is IC or not. I do know that he's 1) a grumpy jerk who hates everyone because of his Extremely Tragic Past, 2) very pretty but suffers from a minor case of No Nose Syndrome in his Heroes art, and 3) probably gay for Ike, so it's not like I'm TOTALLY in the dark._

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Alfonse was used to seeing Kiran do strange things. She _did_ come from another world, after all, so it was only natural that she'd have difficulty adjusting to their culture.

Staying up all night to study tactics while chugging gallons of coffee? Daily occurrence.

Using Breidablik as a backscratcher? She did that once and accidentally summoned an entire army of Shannas. Why Shanna? No one knows.

Yelling, er… _interesting_ obscenities when she sees an enemy archer riding up to one of her flying units? Something that happened almost all the time (to be fair, Alfonse was pretty sure he heard the commander doing it too).

This, however? This was strange even by _Kiran's_ standards. Alfonse wasn't even sure what she was doing: it looked like she was using a huge stick to draw something in the dirt. Considering that they were right next to the castle, that wasn't a good sign.

"Kiran? What are you doing?" Alfonse was too nice to say what he was actually thinking, which was more among the lines of _what the HELL do you think you're doing, and does Anna know about this?_

Kiran glanced up at his voice, looking confused. It seemed like she was concentrating so hard on… whatever she was doing that she didn't hear him approach her. However, she gave a huge smile when she saw him.

"Oh! Hi, Alf!" Kiran said, waving. Alfonse gave up trying to correct her when she called him that. "I'm just doing… summoning stuff. Nothing major." She paused and thought for a moment. "Hey, can I borrow your sword for, like… thirty minutes? I'll give it back, I promise!"

Alfonse blinked. He had no idea what he was expecting, but it _definitely_ wasn't that.

"... No. What were you planning on doing with it?" He asked.

"Aw, okay." Kiran pouted for a second, leaning on her drawing stick. "But, uh… promise you won't tell the commander, alright? I don't _think_ this is against protocol, but I'm not 100% sure."

Alfonse began to feel very afraid.

"Um…yes. No problem." He said, briefly crossing his fingers behind his back. Kiran seemed to perk up slightly, however, so he guessed he said the right thing.

"Soooo… you know how I can summon Ike now?"

Alfonse nodded, grimacing when he remembered how loudly Kiran had screamed when she got the news. "Yes, of course."

"And you know that I haven't summoned him yet, right?"

"... Yes." They _had_ sent back a lot of Hinatas during the last few days.

"Well… I decided to look up ways that can increase my chances of summoning him!" Kiran beamed proudly. Alfonse went from being "afraid" to "completely terrified."

"This—" She gestured towards the ground, presumably towards the figure she was drawing. "—is a summoning pentagram! If I create a pentagram symbol and put down objects that are associated with a certain Hero, then I'm more likely to successfully summon them!"

Alfonse blinked, not saying anything for a few seconds.

"... Alf? You okay there, buddy?"

"Y-Yes. I just need to… sit down for a minute." Alfonse shakenly sat on the ground, his face white. "Er, is this method, well… safe?"

"I think so, yeah." Kiran said. That wasn't very reassuring for Alfonse to hear. "I mean, no one's ever _died_ doing it, and it's not like I'm summoning random demons. All I'm really doing is making a pentagram, getting a bunch of stuff that reminds me of Ike, and having a mage power up the sigil for a minute or two. It's not like I'm sacrificing virgins or something." She shuddered. "Trust me, there are _much_ worse rituals I can do."

Alfonse didn't want to know how she found out about the "worse rituals." Still, he did have _one_ question. "May I ask you something? When we went to the World of Radiance, you admitted that you had very limited knowledge about that world. How are you planning on gathering materials if you don't know a lot about Ike in the first place?"

Kiran opened her mouth to reply, but a flat, bored monotone interrupted her.

"Here's everything that Ike would enjoy." A dark-haired man dressed in black robes appeared next to Kiran, pulling a wagon that was loaded with goods. "Some of these aren't found in our world, of course, but they share enough similarities to be able to work."

"Aw, thanks, Soren! You're the best!" Kiran grinned and gave him a slap on the back, nearly causing the mage to tumble over. "Okay, I just need to finish drawing the pentagram, but that might take a bit. I'll come get you when I'm done!" She then turned towards the wagon, squatting down and shifting through the items that were in there.

Soren nodded before noticing that Alfonse was gaping at him in shock, his mouth hanging open like a fish.

"... What?" Soren asked defensively, giving Alfonse a dirty look. Alfonse didn't get a chance to respond, as Soren turned on his heel and walked away.

Alfonse closed his mouth slowly. From what he recalled from his studies about the World of Radiance, Soren was a grouch who was only loyal towards Ike. To see him do something like that for someone else…

Okay, it probably wasn't _that_ odd. It's just that the whole situation was so strange, even something as minor as a Hero being slightly less dickish than usual broke Alfonse's mind into itty-bitty pieces.

"Aw, man!" Kiran said excitably, pulling out a sword. "Soren _really_ found a lot of stuff! I mean, I'm _pretty_ sure he's planning on murdering me in my sleep so he can be the head tactician, but this is _totally_ worth it."

…Of course, it's not like Kiran was helping his sanity, either.

Alfonse stood up, taking a deep breath. "... Kiran, I just remembered that I need to meet the commander right now. I must go immediately."

"Huh?" Kiran blinked, as if she just remembered he was there. "Oh! Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Make sure you drink something, though—you don't look too good."

Alfonse nodded. He _did_ need a drink. A lot of drinks, actually. Preferably the alcoholic kind.

* * *

A few hours later, Sharena came across Kiran banging her head against a tree.

"Whoa, whoa, _whoa!_ " A terrified Sharena ran up to Kiran, pulling her away. "Kiran, are you alright? What happened?!"

Kiran shuddered and bowed her head, but not before Sharena saw her thousand-yard stare.

"...Hinatas." Kiran whispered in horror. "Hinatas everywhere."


End file.
